It is report time, and this is how I feel right now :
Why are reports difficult, you ask? Well, I am a high school teacher and that means that I teach five different classes of students. I am not at all hard done by here, either. Teachers who job share teach more than this. If the average class contains 28 students, this means that in the space of about a month I have to write 140 report comments. It takes all of my vocabulary to euphemise them. It also takes all of my diplomacy. In fact, I can safely say that interacting with real people might be difficult for me over the next two weeks. I am sure I will forget the words to use because they have already been used up, and I will forget to be polite or to ask how they are. I will probably just talk about reports, because that is all I have been doing.
What if I were to meet someone new over the next two weeks? What if I run into the future love of my life? After five minutes of social interaction with me that basically just turns into crazed teacher talk, they will figure out that I am deeply boring and never want to speak to me again. I probably wouldn’t remember much about them anyway, so if we met again, they would remember me, and think me double crazy for being completely different AND not remembering our previous encounter.
Should I resign myself to this new life? Feeling like an outsider all day whilst chatting with teenagers, walking on eggshells when interacting with other staff, hiding my opinions that I’m too young to have and being completely unable to impress new people. Will that ever change?
Here I am at age 24, and I am completely old and boring. With the small surplus on my next pay, I may just have to invest in a zimmer frame.